BEAUTY and the BEAST

Have you ever seen two people in a romantic relationship and wondered how on earth they ended up with each other? I have seen that so many times. And every time, there is just this one question that I ask myself  - how did beauty end up with the beast? . Don't get me wrong, the "beast" here, does not refer to someone with hideous looks but refers to someone who acts like a beast. I am talking about someone whose characteristics include , but are not limited to cruelty, thoughtlessness ,brutality , ugly pride ....the ability to tear their victims apart with their teeth words... and sometimes their fists. I am talking about the partner who abuses the other without remorse.

I feel exceptionally sorry for those who did not see the tell-tale signs of the 'coming of the beast'. They are those who entered into relationships with 'prince charming' and then one day, without warning, woke up next to a red eyed beast with stinking breath, claws as sharp as Wolverine's blades and hair as thick as the thickest forest you can imagine! Perhaps, if they had at least, seen the signs symptomatic of the 'coming of the beast' early on, they might have taken to their heels/shoes  or NOT. Surprised I said or NOT?
Yes, I did because there are people who would still stay in an abusive relationship even if they had the easiest route of escape. I kid you not. And they would stay for various reasons. Some of which are understandable and some, totally unbelievable.
One reason is love . One of the partners, usually the victim (which i find ironic),  is so in love that they cannot tamper folly with reason. You see, Dr. Love has a way of  poking people in eyes and blinding them from seeing the truth. A person may decide to  stay in an abusive relationship hoping against hope that one day, their love will transform into a handsome prince. Then they would put the past behind and live happily ever after in perfect harmony . - THE END -  (Awww. Grab me some tissues. Sob.clean. Sob).
As unreasonable as it many sound, it kinda makes sense to me why a person would want stay and anticipate change.  Especially if the beast keeps telling beautiful Bella how much it loves her and that it will change for her . After a harsh beating, it would apologize profusely and whisper some magic words that will re-program her  mind to forget what just happened. And mind you, it does it again would do it again and again....as long as she continues to stay.
The danger here is that by the time the victim finally makes up her mind to leave, the damage done might be irreparable -  a broken skull, acid- damaged face, coupled with mental disorientation, resulting from emotional distress (just trying to paint a picture here). If luck does not show up, death will.
Another reason I can think of as to why anyone would continue to stay  is fear. The kind of fear laced with threats.... Fear that paralyzes.  Fear that clips wings and makes people unable to fly. They become caged. Afraid of the unknown and what will happen to them if they leave.
Next culprit is curiosity! Some are curious enough to stay. Their curiosity is fueled by the desire for answers to questions like - What is going to be the beast's next move? What is the worst thing the beast can do to me? But dear sister, in your quest for answers to those questions, please try to find out what killed the cat.
Money money money. Money makes the world go round round. But it does not always bring joy. People are trapped in abusive relationships because of financial benefits. They are willing to hide the scars, swallow their pride and take the pain because they are not financially independent.
There is also the desire to raise kids with both parents together. A sacrifice some women consider  worth it . But is it really? Kids seeing their mothers being abused and sometimes taking a few whips as well. The emotional trauma they go through .....is it really worth staying?

 

Sometimes we just cant change the beast, they might be too far gone for change. They might end up pulling their victims into their vortex and when they do , its either a long ride back home or no way back home. So rather pray for them to be changed from a distance. It is not healthy to try to transform them on your own, only the Holy Spirit can. So pray for them to be transformed but in the mean time, save yourself. Especially for those at the dating stage. My counsel is to  buy a one way ticket out of a toxic relationship and return (if you really really have to) on condition that there is change and that change has been confirmed beyond reasonable doubt.

You are beautiful !

On one fine morning, some where last week, daddy told me ..” Naana, you are looking beautiful” . I was like really? ( I was blushing at that moment) Especially on a day that I had made very little effort to really dress up. Wow. I was walking on cloud 9. Nothing anyone else said mattered. My Daddy had told me I was looking good!

This one of many times that I have been told this. My dad, who happens to be a Superman by the way.. never fails to let his little girls know how beautiful they are. He has been doing that since our diaper days. So we have grown to be well aware of the fact that we are beautiful. No matter what anyone says….we are unshaken.

The words from my father made me realize how important it is for parents to say positive things to their kids. To let them know for instance, how handsome or beautiful they are. Even if that is not entirely the case.lol. It boosts their confidence, gives them the assurance that they are loved and cared for.

Words have the power to create and destroy. The Holy Bible says that ‘life and death lie in the power of the tongue’. You can create either a beautiful or horrible world with the words you speak. Children to a large extent become what they hear. If you keep telling your children that they are bad, stubborn, useless, ugly …the list goes on. Guess what? That is what they will become. Unless they come to realize who God really intended them to be, they will continue to believe in those lies that are constantly pumped into their heads.

For those who have grown up hearing negative words and believing them, I want you to realize that your true identity is in the word of God (Holy Bible). You can find yourself by reading it. God has wonderful things to say about you in it. And guess what? What ever He says about you in His word supersedes all the negative things you have ever heard in your life! So believe in it because it is true. He created you so he knows who you are … very well.

                               

Spend time to learn who you really are.Knowledge of who you are will give you the strength to rise above all the negativity !

Here’s to the CRAZY ONES!

Here’s to the CRAZY ONES! The misfits. The rebels. The trouble makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. The ones who don’t play by the rules. And they have no respect for status quo. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify of vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the CRAZY ONES. We see genius. Because those people who are crazy enough to think they can change the word, are the ones who do. – Steve Jobs.

Don’t Die a Copy

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 1:5

I am a firm believer in living a purpose driven life. I believe everyone is here on earth for a purpose. Just as fish were created to live in water and birds in the sky, we were each created with our own unique talents and gifts. A bird cannot survive in water. In the same way, I cannot be successful trying to walk a walk I was not called to walk. I’ll d probably get lost along the way.

Its like getting lost in the forest. The person who gets lost can do one of the following;

1. Stay where they are and throw in the towel. End result – they are likely to die of a bite, hunger, thirst, depression, FEAR …( these are but a few of the options available to usher them into an untimely demise )
2. Move! Try to find the way back home with no plan or strategy. They might keep going in circles and never end up finding their way . But, at least they tried. Remember the movie “Get Rich or die trying” ?
3.Pray, trust God and move. They might either end up where they started or end up exactly where they wanted to be. In fact, most of us would prefer this 3 option. Especially if we ended up where we wanted to be.

The fact is that most of us feel strangulated. Its like we are gasping for air when there is air all around us. We wake up each morning feeling like a bag of rotten potatoes. No purpose, no drive – nothing to live for.

A very significant contributor to that crappy feeling is that we are constantly comparing ourselves to others and trying to fit our size 9 feet into their size 6 footwear. We are trying every day to be like that role model, business mogul, that friend who ‘seems’ to have it all or that imaginary creature who is too perfect and lives in Utopialand.

You cannot be happy living that way. I believe God has endowed each of us with unique gifts. Have you ever asked someone who is exceptionally good at something.. how they do it ? The response is mostly something along these lines…”I don’t know. I guess it comes naturally”. Do not get me wrong here. I am not saying you cannot study hard to do something exceptionally well. But, you realize that for some people, there is just this Usian Bolt factor. They seem to have been born with that X-factor that propels them to stand out in their field of work calling.

We can be that person with the almost super power X-factor. That person who always stands strong when men are cast down. We can be that person and so much more when we make that decision to find out why we are here and live the life we were called to live. Its not going to be a smooth ride but God equips those He calls. (He has already given you the grace to run that race ) And remember that you were born an original, don’t die a photocopy.